I like what Jordan Peterson says about happiness: he argues that we aren’t necessarily born to be happy, as life is inherently challenging and full of suffering. Instead of chasing happiness, which is often fleeting, he suggests that finding meaning and purpose—often through taking responsibility and serving others—leads to a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfillment.

I moved from a subtropical climate to the heart of Europe and spent my first long, cold, and dark winter in a small Bavarian town with about 20 houses, where the only commerce was a cigarette vending machine. I didn’t know a single person outside of my work colleagues and couldn’t speak the language. I hadn’t yet learned that as a southern hemisphere beach bum, you have to supplement vitamin D, or you’re going to feel down after six months without sun. How didn’t I know this?

One morning, during the hour-long train ride into the city for work, once again watching the unhappy demeanor of my silent fellow commuters, I asked myself what I was doing there. Shouldn’t I go back to the sun? The answer was no; I had come to Europe for a reason, and I wasn’t giving up that easily. But what was I to do to make the situation more bearable? And the answer came quickly: I have two choices. I can be miserable, or I can choose to be happy, every day. And this helped immensely. Later, the realization would come that happiness doesn’t just happen—you must want it and often you must work for it.

To this day, when I wake up and don’t feel at the top of my game, I say to myself: you have two choices; choose. Of course, this alone isn’t going to bring you happiness. Man has searched for the secret to happiness since time immemorial; an untold number of books, scientific papers, and philosophical treatises have been written on the subject. I am still at the beginning of my journey, having realized I must want it, work at it, and, of course, define what it is for me. I know non-stop partying like a rock star or thrill-seeking doesn’t do it, nor do money or material comforts. And it is no one thing; rather, it is a fine mix of a great number of things—understanding that misfortune, pain, and suffering are normal parts of life and how best to deal with them; love, family, friendship, community, nutrition, movement, sport, direction, goals, belief, service, responsibility, spirituality, nature, and more. There is a lot yet to learn for us.

Yours,
John Honey